one not-so-know-it-all.

Thoughts screaming through my head when the dreaded alarm jolted me awake this morning:

“August is half over!”
“I haven’t done a single August blog yet!”
“I think my dog needs one of those reduce-your-snoring masks!” (Seriously ~ girl sounds like a flippin’ fog horn when she sleeps).
“I haven’t contributed to my IRA in over 8-months!”

The last one ended the random thought train and had me fixated on financial matters. You see I have what you like to call…ahem…perfectionistic tendencies, which manifest themselves in this belief that I must be a KNOWER OF ALL THINGS. And that’s absolutely insane. But, here I was this morning stuck on the thought that my IRA was sitting stagnant in some cyberspace bank account crying out in Audrey II-style (let’s see who gets that reference!) “Feed me!” Naturally, that started my thoughts down the path of investments, stocks, 401Ks, retirement, portfolios, etc., etc., all things I consider to be a part of adult living, which is something I characterize myself as being stuck in the middle of only by shear fact of my age and the budding crop of fine lines appearing in various places across my face. The truth is, I know very little about financial matters (of course, if you ask me to my face I’ll play it off like I’m practically Warren Buffet).

And that’s ok.

Somewhere on the course of my journey I felt the need to base my significance on smarts, among other things. I feel the need to be in the know. In reality, the only things that seem to really stick in my head are random celebrity facts. I could probably tell you in 8-seconds flat all the names of the Jolie-Pitt clan and the 17 countries they visited in the last 5 days. Not to brag, but I was once chosen as the forth member of a friend’s fantasy Trivial Pursuit team for purely that reason. I mean does it get more flattering than that?

So no, at thirty-mumble, garble, cough, cough-years old, I am not wise in the world of monetary decision-making. Sure I can hack it. And thank God I have a sister that works for a financial planning company and a friend who graciously prepares my taxes every year. But ask me what the Dow Jones is or what the heck you do with a mutual fund and you might as well be asking me to translate Japanese.

My name is Debi and I am a non-know-it all. One day sober.

P.S. Yesterday I received a blessing…in the bathroom.

Whoa ~ just thought about how that statement could be taken wildly out of context. So, please read at face value. I LITERALLY received a blessing in the bathroom. A woman stopped me at the sink (thankfully after washing her hands), placed her hand on my shoulder, and asked if she could bless me. I won’t lie. It was uncomfortable. But, I don’t think you can say no to a blessing, regardless of the awkward location, so I hesitantly said, “yes?” And a blessing was poured out ~ for about 30 seconds. Who doesn’t think God has a sense of humor???

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2 Responses to one not-so-know-it-all.

  1. Erica says:

    I hope you meant this to be funny (at least some parts) because I’m cracking up! I do appreciate the underlying message, though. 🙂

  2. Steph says:

    Glad you clarified “the blessing in the bathroom.” 🙂 Can I join your “non-know-it-all” support group? This lesson comes to me often :). Love you!

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