control freak. take 2.

Ok, so control is quite the hot bottom.  Thanks for all your feedback!  Keep it comin’!

I thought and thought (and prayed…more minimally than I’d like to admit) and thought some more about control yesterday and why we find it so difficult to really release ourselves fully to God.  Those of you who e-mailed or commented truly stuck to the fear theme so I wanted to keep my focus there.  I started to reflect on moments in my life where I did let go of a control issue related to fear ~ even if it wasn’t to God. The most obvious examples that came to mind were moments that involved my parents as a young child and instances over the years with my closest inner circle of friends.  And several common elements emerged.

1)    Feelings of uncertainty

2)    Major hesitation

3)    A sense of relief (regardless of the outcome)

4)    Deepening of the relationship

That last one was an “ah-ha!” moment for me.  Letting go of control is, in itself, a catch 22.  I feel most comfortable handing control over to those people I know most intimately in my life (hence why I keep it so often ~ who better do I know than myself!) but it also consequently fosters a deeper sense of knowledge and intimacy with those to whom I’ve relinquished it.

“I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.” – Philippians 3:8

I think it’s fair to assume that Paul didn’t immediately release all control to Christ after his transformation on the road to Damascus.  I bet somewhere on the way to losing everything is where that intimate knowledge began to take root.

It’s funny because I bet people who have held to the faith while losing control of the things some of us have listed would easily state that a) their outcomes, while no doubt extremely difficult, were survivable; and b) they are much quicker to surrender control now when challenges arise.  Why?  Because they emerged with a more profound and personal understanding of trusting God and because God followed through on His promise.

I’ve got more thoughts on fear and how I’m trying to overcome that pesky, annoying emotion.  So, fear not (so cheesy, I know, but I couldn’t resist) more to come tomorrow.

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1 Response to control freak. take 2.

  1. Scott Kalis says:

    Hi Deb,
    The joy we feel in God’s Grace is worth fighting for, and knowing that it exists is like knowing that He is always there to catch us…

    We still have that free-will (thing) to stretch out and try now and then, but I always feel comfort knowing that He “has my back” when I have doubt/fears, or insecurities start to overwhelm me. I don’t let this darkness dominate my life, and instead I turn the worries over to God for guidance, but I also stay strong in my personal convictions, honor my commitments, and allow Him to guide me on my path (which I did choose after all). :o)

    Romans 8:15 (New Living Translation)

    So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.”

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